Monday, February 20, 2017

The Hardest Course in The World



story, videos, and photos 
by Matthew Kingsley Isaak 

Hello and welcome to the Beliveau Race The Clock obstacle course! I am Matthew Isaak, your event host. This year there is a Pokémon, Pikachu driving a fierce Shelby Cobra. This car is a good choice because it is fast and can drift without losing control around the corners. The race officials said that Pikachu will go last. But, on with the race! 

The first contestant is Carter Epps in a '71 Maverick Grabber. And he's off! On the second corner he spins out. Big mistake! He needs to regain his lost time. 




One by one, the racers take their turns on the course. Soon it is Pikachu's turn to go. He has chosen the hardest course in the world as his first race, but he's had a lot of practice.




What a race! What a finish! Now they just need to calculate Pikachu's time. 

The winning time is ... 1.19.00: Pikachu - a fraction of a second ahead of Carter Epps in second place with a time of: 1.19.11!  

Pikachu is the winner!





Matthew's Artisan 
Machu Pikachu Snack Mix
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Thatcher's caramel cashew popcorn 
Bassé seaweed peanuts
Prana Machu Pichu Nuts & Fruit Mix: 
almonds - Brazil nuts - White Mulberries  
Golden berries - Pepitas -  Goji berries - raisins


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Sunday, January 1, 2017

New Year's Eve With Matthew


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A Theatrical Interlude From The King and Queendom of Canistinople 

The Dog-O-Ramas: Princess Catalina, Prince Otis, Queen Tia, and King Jacob Dog-O-Rama, and FERDINAND PAMPLEMOUSSE! (this name is always trumpeted), are celebrating New Year's Eve with various entertainments.

Of course, you can also see the puppet master in his old-fashioned pyjamas.



A Short Play About Canistinople
One day - it was a perfectly sunny Sunday morning, as The Kingdom of Canistinople prepared for their quarterly brunch meeting and festivities - an intruder appeared, intent on calamity.


Caldrons of Canistinople oats bubbled merrily with Canistinople berries, spices, and herbs; platters of savoury pies; giant bouquets of fruits and vegetables, and long tables in the palace garden; were set in preparation for the guests.


The most important agenda of the meeting was the announcement that Canistinople would now be named a Queendom, as well as a Kingdom. It would from that time forward, be known as The King and Queendom of Canistinople.

But, first, the calamity. Not everyone liked the idea of the name change and wanted it to remain as it was, harking back to a time of great patriarchy, warring kings, and capital pursuits. The new change brought with it an ideological shift to include a feminine influence of nature, community, cooperation, education, and health.

The intruder hid amongst the friendly guests in the garden, stewing with anger, resentment, and plots of vengeance. The intruder sat amongst the guests and fed greedily upon the healthy Canistinople feast. The guests were feted for hours and hours, until finally, they all grew sated and drowsy in the most satisfactory way. 

The kind and generous hosts had thoughtfully prepared fluffy beds for every one of their guests, including the intruder. After a glorious sleep, and due to the superior health of the repast, the pure water, and excellent air quality in The King and Queendom of Canistinople, the guests awoke absolutely refreshed and renewed.

After enjoying the Canistinople feast and hospitality, the intruder's health, heart, and philosophy were transformed, consequently becoming a lifelong friend of The King and Queendom of Canistinople

You only need power if you mean to do harm, otherwise, love is enough to get everything done.

It is now the time for dance in Canistinople